'We kiss,I fell under your spell, a love no one could deny.'

I remember how we first met on arts fiesta'11. I'm really glad that after 2 years, I'm able to go to arts fiesta'13 with you.

When we got closer last year, you constantly remind me about the little details like how we first met and how you asked for my number. 

You remember how i lied to you saying that i had no phone when my phone was just on my hand, you remember how we started talking, how awkward it was and what we were talking about. 

I rmb when you first sent me home, was after SJAB's annual zone dinner last year. I was excited and more than happy, when you called me umpteen times just to make sure that I wouldn't go home by myself without you. You waited patiently for 2 hours. I remember all that. 

We sat at a bench under the block and started talking, it then became a part of our routine whenever you sent me home. I remember that exact day, and how everything changed after that. But we're still not tgt despite the many things that we've done. Time seems to pass really quickly whenever I'm with you. 

I remember how we would start dragging each other when it's time to go home, fighting over if i should send you to the bus stop, or you should send me to my house's lift. I miss all that. 

Do you remember how we counted down for 2013? Remember you said you want to make 2013 a better year for both of us? You said you wanted to create memories and do things that we didn't do tgt before. You said we would work hard for O's together, study together. Asking me not to fall for other guys, especially when you're not sitting next to me in class anymore. Its all about the both of us. You said that you'll be there no matter what happens. 

Where are you now? 

It's like a dream. A dream that I wouldn't want to wake up from. 

I miss being retarded with you and not needing to care about what others think of us. 

I miss how you request for stupid things. 

I miss how cute and sweet you are. 

I miss me being your priority for that 5 months. 

I miss our long walks. 

I miss holding your hand, touching your hair.

I miss long phone calls. 

I just miss the 2 of us being tgt alone. 

I miss your hugs and everything. 

I miss you, the old you, when I was still your priority. 

I hate walking along the path where we used to hold our hands so close and tight together, I hate crossing roads without you. I miss you being there to protect me from everything. I miss how you tie my shoelace whenever my lace is out. I miss you doing stupid things with our shadows and reflections. I miss your stupid whispers. I miss getting endless calls from you. 

Whenever I pass by the bench that we'd always sit at, I'll think of you. Think about us, the memories, the things that we did, everything. There's too many for me to list down. I really really miss us a lot. You'll never know how much I miss you and how important you are to me that I still can't get over you even after so long.  

说了再见，才发现再也见不到

There was once i really think that true love don't exist in this world anymore, but i was wrong. Back then i was just 14, i rmb every night which lasted for at least 5 days i cry myself to sleep. The minute i came to school, i saw him and I just couldn't control my emotions and started crying non-stop. Come to think about it, i was very stupid and immature back then. Do i even know what's love? Or do both party even love each other?  The days where i suffered from all the bullshits and heartbreaks, that emotions and feelings, is something that i would never wanna experience again. Being cold to someone is just a way for me to protect myself, to not let anyone hurt me again.

You're the only person that made me feel like as though im really in love. (even thought we're not tgt) By saying that, i mean we did so much more things than what normal best friends do. I think we can compare ourselves with that sweet couple at plaza sing. ytd alrdy. LOLLLLLL

Okay, but i really mean it. Everywhere i go, simplest things like taking bus and walking home, it reminds me of you.


'Sometimes the only logical thing to do when someone you love hurts you, is to disconnect, eject, and proceed' Easier said than done. I always tell myself not to give in so easily, because people can just take me for granted.

I really don't know how to express my deepest thoughts and feelings. Especially towards someone I like. I always say things, and end it with a 'ah nvm' Because I'm not sure if what I want to say is right, or whether what I say can cause someone to misinterpret. I'm not good at words and that causes people to think that I'm cold. Not because I have no feelings but I really can't find the right words to express how I really feel sometimes. I'm afraid that people will judge what I say, or think that I'm attention seeking and irritating and disgusting by being mushy and all. 

I brought this upon myself. I deserve it. Serves me right and I've got no rights to be jealous at all. All this shit is happening because of my stubbornness. I always do this kind of stupid things and regret it only after shit happens. Promising myself that I won't do that kind of stupid shit again but I'll just keep doing it again and again. Fuck myself. I will never learn my lesson. I have to keep in mind that not everyone will be there for me whenever i need them, not everyone can tolerate all my nonsense and bullshits. 

Come to think of it, who would like it if someone treats you coldly, Who would like it if you said and do all the sweet little things for that someone and all he/she did was to take it for granted and give you those emotionless reply? Definitely i won't like it either.


I deserve to suffer from all this. telling myself again and again that i've got no rights to feel angry or jealous. Swallow all the negative feelings down and i'll be okay.